Fish song
(posted 2000)

There's a lot of excitement about fish in the UK, not the extinction of cod but the singing plastic kind. Both the Queen and prime minister Tony Blair have admitted their love for the ultimate in urban kitch, a plastic bass called Billy mounted on a board. You walk towards it and a movement sensor swivels Billy's head towards you. He opens his mouth, flaps his tail and in a fine tenor belts out: 'Don't worry, be happy'.

The Queen is reported to be thoroughly amused and votes it her best toy yet. Tony Blair is photographed in the Press with his bass and a fishy grin.

May we, without wanting to spoil the party, urge our leaders to consider the perilous plight of the world's fish stocks and suggest that the bass's theme song sends entirely the wrong message. We should be worried, if we want to have bass suppers in the future.
(Full text www.msc.org).